Taking stage fright to new heights

As I brainstormed a title for my karaoke blog, the word "Journey" came to mind. Merriam-Webster defines Journey as "an act or instance of traveling from one place to another".  I started thinking back to all the journey's i've traveled in my life.  I journeyed from adolescence to adulthood.  I journeyed from middle school to high school.  I journeyed from Minnesota to California on a road trip last summer.  As I listed my journey's, I realized that these were all in the past.  I always thought about where I have been and not where I wanted to go.   

Realizing that I wanted to sing was an accomplishment in itself.  As I said in the first blog, I always thought I was good at singing, but I needed to try it on for size, and the only way to do this was to get up on stage and become completely vulnerable.  As I stepped onstage and grabbed the mic, the onlookers and regulars from the bar were doing what they did best, drinking.  I felt a little bit better because no one was really paying attention, everyone else before me had -pardon my language- sucked.  I started singing the only song I really knew how to sing by Joss Stone called "Right to Be Wrong".  In hindsight, what better first song to sing than one that says, "I might be singing out of key, but it sure feels good to me".  Oh Joss Stone, how you get me!  No one really knew the song (which made me even more nervous).  What if they booed me offstage?  I was trembling, my voice cracked, my knuckles were white from grabbing the microphone too tight, but no one could tell.  I was a star in my own right that night.  I nailed it.

Wait.  Anxiety is setting in.  Did I nail it because everyone else sucked?  Was I the only talented person in this small town?  Did they just like it because  they were drunk?  Until this day I still have those doubts, but it is becoming less frequent because of all the praise and experience I have gotten the more that I perform. 
The biggest lesson I learned from getting onstage that night was that I wasn't going to be able to play life safe anymore.  If I wanted to continue on my journey and reach my destination I was going to have to express my true self from that moment on. I couldn't worry about what anyone else thought about me, or karaoke, or the song choices I sang.  I was doing this solely for me.

Deborah Adele, local author of self development Yamas and Niyamas explains it so well when she says "Living the life that cries to be lived from the depth of our being frees up our energy and vitality...On the other hand, supresseing that life, for whatever reason, takes a lot of our life energy just in the managing of the pretending."  Whether it be teaching, piano, painting, or even basket weaving, everyone should have the courage to take the step to find out what their true calling is.  Mine is singing. What's yours?

-Maryoke