Constructive Criticism

I am dedicating this blog to my friend Joe.  His partner lost his battle with cancer on Halloween night.


I have received my fair share of criticism over the years: some good, some bad.  I have had people tell me that I am a nasaly singer; I have had people tell me that I need more work; I have had people tell me that I am amazingly talented; I have had people tell me that I am an emotional singer.  Although some of these comments are positive, some are also negative and force me to think about what I am doing with serious doubt. 

After the second WeFest karaoke contest, it dark time for me (in terms of karaoke singing).  I couldn't believe the amount of politics that went into such an amateur contest.  A guy won twice for crying out loud!  He literally stole my winning spot and made me feel defeated and hopeless.  How come the judges told me they scored me 40 out of 40 yet somehow I still placed 4th?  Something wasn't right. 

Through all the karaoke drama, I have been fortunate enough to have many people support me.  My biggest fan is my Mom.  She has always pushing my story on other people.  Although embarrassing, it helps get my stuff out there! One way she pushed my karaoke shenanigans on other people was by making copies of my performances and MAKING other people watch them.  Well, my DVD got into the hands of my friend Joe.  Joe is one of the most genuine, positive, caring people I know.   When Joe watched my 4th place performance, he had more than comments or critiques, he had the exact advice I was looking for.  I would like to share what he said with you.  Take a look:

"My best friend has an awesome voice and entered many contests... being the new chick in the circuit proved to be a huge disadvantage because people tend to stick with their own. The more people see of you the more infectious you will be and the harder it will be to vote for someone else. Win or lose you have to believe you got something - it's why you have gone soooo far in these competitions...get yourself in the right group and it will increase your chances.... genre is one group, clothing is another, vocals is a third group, fast song or slow song, guys or girls etc.... hopefully you get my point. The peppy songs tend to get the crowd involved (even if the person kind of sucks) and this creates an energy in the room that can sway the votes. So many rules for something that is suppose to be fun and unbiased.  If you felt cheated, you were - as a singer we tend to know when we suck... we know when we missed a note, screeched (and some of these singers screech - oh my god my EARS!)  What you have is a security on the stage and a presence that comes through... connecting some dots could take u all the way (in an unbiased competition) but either way you can take singing wherever you want to :) Find your nitch Mary... being good is great but being awesome takes something special - you may feel like you gave it everything you have, but there is soooo much more in there :)"  -Joe

I didn't have to share all of this with you.  I could have broken it up into parts and discussed each few sentences, but I wanted to show you bloggers out there that Joe is not only an amazing person, he is also an amazing writer.   Joe helped me take a look at my singing situation and approach it with a different perspective.  Whenever I used to watch my DVD, I would tell myself that I did the best that I could and that it was my best performance.  What else could the judges want?  Joe woke my a** up and snapped me back into reality.  There is SO much more that I can give.  Every contest I learn something new and grow into a better singer and performer.  Next WeFest contest, people better watch out, because -thanks to Joe-I am going to connect the dots, find my group and find my niche; I am coming back with a vengeance. 

Much love,
Maryoke

From the Bar Scene to the T.V. Screen

The audience squirms in their seats waiting to hear the results.  The tall blonde singer from Minnesota stands nervously on stage clinging to hear microphone, hoping the results are in her favor.  Her name is Cassandra Mae Jopp and she is a karaoke singer.  Perhaps, she is the epitome of karaoke singers because that exciting night, she was crowned Karaoke Queen on the hit T.V. show that aired last fall called Karaoke Battle U.S.A.

Many of you may have heard about this T.V. show because it was extremely popular.  At first I was a little skeptical.  What is a karaoke show doing competing with shows like American Idol, The Sing-off and The X-Factor?  Then I thought, they are all karaoke shows as well.  If you think about it, all the singing shows that are on T.V. right now are just "glamourized" karaoke shows.  These singers aren't singing original songs, (with the exception of the X-Factor) instead, they are singing cover songs.  The only differences are: they have no screen in front of them, they aren't in a bar, there are judges and they are soon-to-be famous!

The funny thing about seeing Karaoke Battle U.S.A on T.V. was that I was bummed that I didn't try out for it.  My mom kept pushing me and pushing me to try and deep inside I just didn't have the will to.  What really made me cringe was when I watched an episode and saw HER.  Her face was familiar; I had seen her before.  Who was she? I scrambled to my WeFest Karaoke Contest booklet and flipped to the pages of the winners of the year before me and, sure enough, there she was front and center.  Jopp had one the year before me.  Oh, and the year before that?  She won 4th!  I had won 4th place two years in a row now.  So, what does this tell me?  Well for starters, it tells hat the singer who won the Karaoke Battle U.S.A on ABC won the same dang place that I won in the same dang contest.  It was all clear to me now; this was something that I could attain very easily.  My dreams are not out of reach.  Holy Sh*t.

I have only been singing for a few years, yet I have immersed myself in every competition that I come across. I wanted to dig deeper into Jopp's history to see what else we had in common, so I read some interviews with her from some local newspapers.  One interview was in the Brainerd dispatch named "Retracing the journey".  In this interview, Jopp explains: "

“My first competition was when I was 11 at the Crow Wing County Fair in Brainerd. I was really green then and I was so scared that they had to start over. I got through the song and everyone was clapping, but I went crying off the stage. I remember seeing all the other performers and how excited they were and how they had the whole stage presence down. So I started watching famous singers and developed my own style and worked on it. I wanted to keep my passion going and I wanted to show people who I am.”

The last few lines of this really touched me.  I remember being so nervous the first year of the WeFest contest because I had never performed in front of that big of a crowd.  The other singers really seemed to have come into their own in terms of confidence and I was just the new-comer.  I didn't sing a country song and I had a very unique voice, so I didn't know what to expect.  Even thought I got 4th the first year I took something away from the experience.  I watched other singers over that next year and tried to build my own sense of style.  As the next year came along I was so confident and comfortable in my own skin that I made a generic song completely come to life.  One of the judges told me they have heard the song I sang so many times, but I sang it differently; I told a story.  That was the biggest compliment I have ever recieved.

By watching Karaoke Battle U.S.A and listening to Cassandra talk about her journey, it makes it easier to continue on my journey.  I have been thinking everyday about my next karaoke move and it looks like even the smallest steps can add up to big prizes.  I couldn't even imagine making it to the finals on a popular television show.  I always thought they were rigged!  But now that I have seen a familiar face who went through some of the same competitions and struggles that I went through, it makes it look a lot easier. 

Thank you to the people and contests who make our "small karaoke dreams" possible.

Karaoke, where can I go from here?

Karaoke, you've been good to me, but where can I go frome here? 

I sit and I contemplate all that I have accomplished from karaoke; I guess you could say I am on a "karaoke hiatus" where I am lazily trying to figure out my next move.  I use the word lazily because I am so busy with school and work, so I am just taking it a day at a time.  Oh, the bittersweet memories I have of all the competitions though. Is it appropriate for me to put a sad face emoticon? =(  Maybe with a tear coming down?  =-(  That's better.

There have been a few competitions that have put me on the map in terms of karaoke success, such as the contest at The Reef where I won tickets to Vegas, or the contest at Mr. D's where I was able to open for Hairball in front of thousands of people.  Although these were great achievments and stepping stones, there is still one competition that I haven't been able to conquer; The WeFest Karaoke Contest.  In this contest I placed 4th two years in a row.  Just a remember now, the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place winners were awarded a huge prize package including: singing on stage in front of fifty some thousand people for a huge country artist, 2,500 dollars, studio time and VIP package.  Bummer, right?  I was devastated.  I sang Midnight Train to Georgia by Gladys Knight one year and When the Lights go down by Faith Hill the next (i'm trying to get this uploaded).  This is a six state, six month long competition, so needless to say, I was devastated when I lost and I don't know if I have the drive or energy to do it again.

What are the options for me if I dont compete in this competition again?  Did I give up too soon?  Does this make me a quitter?  There are many things for me to consider now.  One of these things to consider is giving up on karaoke alltogether and branching off to start writing my own music.  Over the years I have heard comments like, "you aren't a real singer if you sing karaoke".  This is not true, I am an artist that takes what other people have sang and make it my own (as you can see by watching the videos).  An article that really stood out to me when I started researching into what I wanted to do with my singing career was In Defense of Cover Songs by Don Cusic.  What I understood from Cusic's article is that if I start writing, thats great, but if I stay and do karaoke, that's ok too because he explains:

"The singer/songwriter should be the exception and not the rule.  Songwriting should be an honored profession all of its own.  And cover recordings should be a way for singers and musicians to express their creativity that is as honest and authentic as music can be". 

I love hearing other people's P.O.V's because they strengthen my belief that karaoke is a way to step into the limelight, even if it is baby steps.  I am just trying to take this previously mentioned hiatus and really contemplate, relax and listen to that inner voice inside me that tells me what the best choice for me is.  I am leaning on the decision to write my own music and I feel like to write music, you have to be in a contemplative state, just like Cusic also points out when he says that "songwriting is an art that requires quiet reflection away from the public eye".  My "public eye" means karaoke contests.  I shouldn't waste all my energy trying to learn other peoples songs when I should be learning my own.  It only makes sense to strive for more, since I feel karaoke dissapointments stomping the passion of music out of me. 

I may need a lot more time to think.  Writing about this only makes me think more. 
Until next time,
Maryoke

My Karaoke Community

"I always suspected there were other karaoke fiends out there..." - Brian Raferty




It is the night of my contest.  All alone, I walk nervously into the dimly-lit dive bar on the West side of town.  I instantly recognize the faces of my competition.  My tight skirt and high heels are perfect for my song choice, "Midnight Train to Georgia" by Glady's Knight.  As I step closer to the table where all the singers are sitting, I notice what they are wearing; jewelry, glitter, sequins.  I think, how tacky and delightful!   Questions race through my mind such as:  What song are they singing?  Are they going to sing the same song as I am?  What happens if I forget the words?  Suddenly, a familiar voice calls my name, breaking my train of thought.  It is my karaoke rival, Kendra.  This familiarity helps me feel at ease.  As the contest continues throughout the night, the group of singer's cheer each other on.  We exchange high fives, critique each others songs and give advice. I feel like i'm part of the group, even though I am actually all alone.  This, I thought, is what it's all about. 

Karaoke has enabled me to show off my creativity, talent and confidence while blossoming into a better person, singer and songwriter, but all this wouldn't have been possible without this audience that I  mentioned in the story above.  I call this audience the "Karaoke Community".  Sometimes for me though, it is hard to find people to cheer me along at the contests, which is why I show up alone so many times.  In Brian Raftery's book:  How Karaoke Conquered the World and Changed My Life, he touches on the same feeling I get when I invite people to watch me, he says, "I'd often invited coworkers or casual acquaintances to come along with us, and they usually looked at me as though I'd just asked them to help officiate a cockfight".  This is so true!  It's almost as if the mere mention of "karaoke" makes people run for the hills, but compare it to a cockfight?  I'm sure people would rather do that!  Has karaoke gotten that bad of a rap that people are embarrassed to come watch?  Or are they scared to join because they know it will lure them in fill their greatest guilty-pleasure's?

The karaoke community is made up of more than just the karaoke singer's themselves; it also includes family, friends and fan's alike.  I consider anyone who follows karaoke or just enjoys going out regularly to a karaoke bar to be part of the community.  If i've seen you more than once (you know who you are), then you are also part of the community.  It's like we all remember the songs, faces, and outfits of our rivals.  Sometimes I even tailor my performance depending on who I think is going to show up.  For example, if my karaoke counterparts are singing a slow country song, I will definitely choose a fast-paced rock song to "wow" the judges.  Also, if I know I've placed higher than some of the singers that will probably be there, I will keep the same song i've beaten them with before.  This karaoke community allows you to push harder and strategize.

"Karaoke requires the willingness to be enterained by strangers", says Raferty.  This is also true for me, but these so-called strangers are turning out to be my friends just as I am starting to become part of the community.  I look forward to watching certain people on stage.  Some of these singers are my biggest competition and some of them are ear-screaching fools, but either way, they are there for the joy that karaoke brings.  There is nothing like stepping up on stage to sing your favorite songs in front of people that love doing the same thing you and support you all the way.  Now, if only I could get my friends to start singing instead of watching...

Until next time,
Maryoke

When opportunity knocks

"I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one." - Mark Twain

The first time I stepped up on stage to sing karaoke turned out to be more than an eye opening experience, it was, in a sense, a door opening experience.  I found myself stuck in a small town, unable to escape the rumors and nonsense "chitter-chatter", so instead of hearing about it I decided I was going to be "it". 

I worked at a small bar and grill on the other side of town where they coincidentally ran karaoke every week.  It became clear to me that there were the "stars" of the bar that were everyone's favorites so I became hesitant to start singing because I didn't want to step on anyone's toes, especially those of my co-workers who sang.  Things could get ugly quick!  Well, I sang anyway, and to my surprise, my co-worker immediately complimented my voice and told me about a contest that would be starting in the next couple months.  This was the first time I had heard about the WeFest Karaoke Contest and, little did I know, it was going change my life from that moment on.

I thought long and hard about what my co-worker had told me about the contest. This was a major opportunity.  Althought it was a small step, I could see that it could have major results in my life as a singer. I mean, you have to start small right?  That is what karaoke is about anyway, starting small.  This contest was a small step with HUGE prizes.  For winning 1st, 2nd, or 3rd place, these prizes included: opening on stage for a major country act, $1,500 cash, VIP camping package and studio time.  It was a no-brainer.  What if I got noticed?  What if I was able to get studio time and have them record me?  The suspense and anticipation was killing me.  I searched long and hard for the songs I was going to sing and signed up for the contest that night.

For me, there has always been a calling to do something different than the norm.  My friends and family used to make fun of karaoke singers, but I have always stayed true to what I felt was necessary for me to thrive.  One of favorite motivators -- and someone who has helped me change into a better person throughout this journey-- Dr. Phil, says it perfect when he writes in his latest book Self Matters, "The need for self-expression can be an enormous drive from within, prompting choice that often puzzle friends and family."  Well, singing is my expression.  This choice puzzled friends and family for a long time until I started winning contests and prizes.  As you can imagine, their thoughts about karaoke changed. 

I would love to hear other people's stories about karaoke.  What have the opportunities looked like for them?  Where have karaoke contests taken them?  What doors have opened because of these contests?  Hearing other stories helps put my own singing into perspective.  I now know that the more I network, the more my name gets out there.  I have a YouTube account, band-offers and singing gigs all because of the choice I made that night to listen to my co-worker and sign up for the WeFest karaoke contest.  Yes, it's that simple. 

-Maryoke

Taking stage fright to new heights

As I brainstormed a title for my karaoke blog, the word "Journey" came to mind. Merriam-Webster defines Journey as "an act or instance of traveling from one place to another".  I started thinking back to all the journey's i've traveled in my life.  I journeyed from adolescence to adulthood.  I journeyed from middle school to high school.  I journeyed from Minnesota to California on a road trip last summer.  As I listed my journey's, I realized that these were all in the past.  I always thought about where I have been and not where I wanted to go.   

Realizing that I wanted to sing was an accomplishment in itself.  As I said in the first blog, I always thought I was good at singing, but I needed to try it on for size, and the only way to do this was to get up on stage and become completely vulnerable.  As I stepped onstage and grabbed the mic, the onlookers and regulars from the bar were doing what they did best, drinking.  I felt a little bit better because no one was really paying attention, everyone else before me had -pardon my language- sucked.  I started singing the only song I really knew how to sing by Joss Stone called "Right to Be Wrong".  In hindsight, what better first song to sing than one that says, "I might be singing out of key, but it sure feels good to me".  Oh Joss Stone, how you get me!  No one really knew the song (which made me even more nervous).  What if they booed me offstage?  I was trembling, my voice cracked, my knuckles were white from grabbing the microphone too tight, but no one could tell.  I was a star in my own right that night.  I nailed it.

Wait.  Anxiety is setting in.  Did I nail it because everyone else sucked?  Was I the only talented person in this small town?  Did they just like it because  they were drunk?  Until this day I still have those doubts, but it is becoming less frequent because of all the praise and experience I have gotten the more that I perform. 
The biggest lesson I learned from getting onstage that night was that I wasn't going to be able to play life safe anymore.  If I wanted to continue on my journey and reach my destination I was going to have to express my true self from that moment on. I couldn't worry about what anyone else thought about me, or karaoke, or the song choices I sang.  I was doing this solely for me.

Deborah Adele, local author of self development Yamas and Niyamas explains it so well when she says "Living the life that cries to be lived from the depth of our being frees up our energy and vitality...On the other hand, supresseing that life, for whatever reason, takes a lot of our life energy just in the managing of the pretending."  Whether it be teaching, piano, painting, or even basket weaving, everyone should have the courage to take the step to find out what their true calling is.  Mine is singing. What's yours?

-Maryoke

Breakaway - My Karaoke Journey

"Karaoke is for people who can't sing!" -Me, circa 2004

This was my opinion of karaoke singers for as long as I can remember.  Honestly, I made fun of these people!  They were nerds!  I never understood why people would get up on a stage and sing some old overplayed song for drunk people's enjoyment.  Can't they just listen to the radio?  Sure, it was fun, but there was no real talent behind these singers.  I found out over the course of the next few years that I had been wrong all along.

Lets start with a little bit of my past.  I always knew I could sing and had a great ear for music.  The problem was, I was never in choir and never sang in front of people.  How was I supposed to know that I was actually good and not tone deaf?  Just like many other singers who start out, I didn't know, and that was the problem.  The only solution was for me to get up in front of people and belt out a song I thought I was good at.  There was no better way to do this than to try, and try I did!

My karaoke journey began with singing at a small town bar in front of a monitor, but ended with me opening for a big act in front of thousands.  How did a small town self-proclaimed "karaoke hater" achieve this you ask?  What began with a silly karaoke dream had evolved into something bigger.

Throughout this blog, I will share my interesting journey in bits and pieces while still touching base on important questions I have about karaoke.  If you are skeptical of how karaoke can make someone a star, so was I, but karaoke gave me skills that have helped me propel along my path to achieve my dream of becoming a real singer.  I am not quite there yet though.  I still wonder what role karaoke plays in a hopeful singers career.  Are there successful singers out there that have started with karaoke?  Can karaoke open doors for a singer or hold them back?  Can karaoke be taken seriously?  Do I have what it takes to go from karoke to record deal?  Even if I don't make it, what can I gain from performing karaoke?  These are all questions I hope to narrow down and answer throughout the growth of my blog. 

For my next blog entry I want to discuss the feeling of stepping on stage for the first time.  This will be interesting to re-visit the awkard moment.  Wish me luck!

-Maryoke